I'm thinking about my life as a movie. My life being a linear narrative with this nonlinear meta-narrative all happening at the same time. I look at myself as myself but then I also imagine myself being a character in this cosmic drama that plays itself out and builds one day at a time. It's how I rationalize with the idea of being alive. Each moment is just one more block added to the next shaping and forming what we will call our own. Our own ideas, experiences, relationships, connections; the moments that construct the context of life. Each day gives it meaning. Each meaning furthers the complexity. If I think about us just as bodies then it's interesting how all of the pens were set out to play. How roaming pieces of mass find themselves from one location to the next. Just stars making their own orbit. What's driving the orbit? What makes us move from one place to the next? What allows the freedom of movement or the lack thereof? What enables? How do we see ourselves as pieces to the divine puzzle?
I'm thinking of all of the steps it took for this body of mass to end up in this very room that I’m in right now. I’m thinking about the invisible forces that guide two people down the same collision course. Will they collide and conglomerate or combust? How do you know when you love someone? Is it the way they make you feel or is it just something about them that you just couldn’t help but love?
And the pain you suffer.. Does it build or destroy you? Is that up to you at all?
How much of my life was pre-destined and how much did I bring about by my own hand?
